The Change – By Trevor Martin

I say be hard on yourself. Not so hard that you are brutality beaten down by your own inner judge. But hard enough on yourself, that you know when is the time to change and do something different. People outside of you can be hard on you, doesn’t help, try to block that out. Their opinions are theirs alone.

Tony Robbins said “Get angry”

Not get mad at yourself. But get so fed up with where you are that you take that next leap with vigor and lightening.

If you want to change, some day, some time, you’ll have to look at yourself and say

“That’s it! Today is the day I change my health, my body, my relationship, my job, my friendships, whatever it may be, FOREVER!”

– Trevor

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The Vault and the Ladybug

Vault_door_CA1The Vault and the Lady Bug

Imagine if you will.

One day you are driving and get in a horrible car accident. You go in to a coma. When you awaken you are struck with amnesia, in a vault underground.

Who am I? How do I act? How should I survive? Who are my friends? What am I good at? What is this? How do I do or know anything?

A man comes in to your room. He is wearing glasses, dressed in fine clothing, he has a soft voice, a leader type. You trust him. Shoot he is all you can trust.

He begins to tell you that while you were in a Coma the world ended, people became frantic, bombs littered the earth spilling poison everywhere. There is nothing but death and disease outside the vault. There are people who occasionally knock at the big heavy vault door to be let in. He tells you to NEVER let anyone in, because they have a plague, they are cannibals, they will ruin everything he has created.

He pulls a tiny notebook from his chest pocket. In this notebook is who you are. He tells you what your good at. He tells you what you believe in. He tells you what love is. He tells you how to live, what to eat, gives you a schedule. And tells you as long as you follow his rules, you’ll be safe and comfortable .

Days, weeks, months pass.

You start to ask yourself if who he told you you were was legit. “Why does he make me work all day, and then tells me it’s for my own good, how is who he told me I was me, if I don’t feel right about it?”

You begin to feel uneasy.

One night as all the vault dwellers are sleeping you see a little lady bug crawling right below your bed. You wonder.

“A lady bug?! Down here? She should be dead!”

You see her walking out and down the hall, you follow. It’s so dark but you can see a slight glare coming off her shell. She leads you right to the clunky vault door. To your surprise it’s not even locked……. You open it.

The door slowly slides open. Your eyes are blinded by beautiful light…

But wait…

“There are no crazy people out here! There were no bombs dropped! No one’s going to eat me! There is beauty and life here! There is a whole new existence and reality!”

Panic sets in. You realize that this whole time you had been lead astray. You have been bamboozled, lied to and made in to a false image to support this man, the man.

But you are scared.

” How will I relearn everything!!?? How do I live out here!!??”

You begin to question whether it’s better to stay inside, living a lie, comforted, or to go out into the world and live according to your free will.

This is your life. The vault and leader is the news, “the man” and the society in which you were born in to. The lady bug is your inner voice through the darkness, your spirit. The vault door is the space between your slavery and freedom.

What will you do?

– Trev

Good morning – Its a poem

Here I am good morning, my eyes are waking up.
I stretch I yawn a morning pee, no Folgers in my cup.
My eyes got crust inum, my hair a holy mess
So many things could be done today, I chose video games and rest
Brush my teeth, ya maybe, fix my hair no no
For its MY time no worries, I’ll make it up as I go

-Shrevor

Marriage- again

I can’t put my finger on it. I, a man never married, can’t see what it is about a legal marriage that makes it better than a relationship. Since everything in a marriage can be done without all the money and legal binding, then why not just keep it basic? Divorce rates are sky rocketing, the amount of heartache and loss of money from a divorce, people bound by law even when they are so lonely and miserable being married, yet we continue to use a broken system.

To bind someone , to chain someone to the government and yourself, that seems to be more controlling and possessive than it seems to be loving.

It just seems to me like its a set up to fail. And not to be sexist but the failure will mostly fall on the man, for he will lose everything in a divorce.

I’m not sure what this is- Poem

I feel my rhyme is lacking, its been so many weeks
I feel as if I’m bound to shift, my mind state needs some tweaks
When thought becomes movement you’ll change but quick as mind
You’re up you’re down you fall your fine possibilities intertwine
Can you ever be so sure of things, its all so very random
You can ride a bike with friends, but life is not so tandem
So silly sit with cigarette pressed upon your lips
Sing a song just ride along, I’m not sure what this is

– Trev

Long time no thoughts

Hi!

Its been some time. My obsessive days of over analyzing everything have come to an easing slow pace, as in I’m proud to say after all the years of reading and “studying” everything about life, and then over thinking it way too much, I am finally calm and can move passed the fact that everything is just so weird and confusing lol, hence the reasoning I’m not on “social” media anymore and don’t write much anymore.

Yet, I’m clearly here for a reason lol and I’m bored at work.

Lately I’ve just been thinking about how strange, there’s that word again, it is that we seem to live in a reality where the majority of people are actually going about their days without ever really thinking, without questioning anything. Whether it be how they treat others, how they act, their responsibilities etc etc people just seem to be like a toy car thrown by a child, speeding off a counter, without knowing how far they are from having control of anything.

Here is a really basic example of the grand scheme of the issue.

I worked with this black lady, who hardly worked, sat around, called in all the time, talked back and argued with everyone and had a bad attitude all around. One day she got fired, this chick had the nerve to holler ” RACISM!”

Never seeing that it was her the whole time who was first off racist for assuming such things, and second completely negligent of her responsibilities.

Or what about the guy I knew who was always in and out of fights and jail, stealing selling drugs etc etc, yet always wondered why his life was so bad.

Or the girl who said a million things and her actions never matched with words that came out of her mouth. The girl who wondered why I ran as fast as I could away from her. The girl who was so confused that I “couldn’t commit”. Lol the girl who robbed me and said ” YOU ruined MY life”

Oh ya

I had this thought because someone asked me the other day why that Bruce Jenner or whatever guy is getting so much attention for His sex change thing.

Though I believe that its cool he did what he wanted and felt inside, should he deserve more spotlight than anyone else who has done something?

Na

But we live in this world full of fog where everyone is blind and just moving, like zombies and robots, and all the words people use to describe “dumbed down”.

They watch TVs and care so much about this act that is media, like any of it matters AT ALL. As tabloids and magazines are filled with bullshit pooh pooh like who is cheating on who, who has some secret something, people are gobbling it up like Honey boo boos mom in a buffet line.

Its just.. Yup strange that I do judge when I speak or hear someone talking and its like they are not even noticing how they are talking or what they are puking out of their mouths, like fucking cavemen.

Do I seem angry or mean?
I’m not at all, but this is how I feel inside, I don’t walk around telling these people how stupid they are, well maybe there have been one or two times I have lol

I dont want to call people retarded, stupid, slow, asleep, not conscious.. Well, fuck it I just did. Lol

– Trev Train

Love behind the eyes

I thought this was worth reblogging

The Book Of Trev

Love and life

I talk a lot of shit,and I know I often go on negative rants.

But….

I, as many people,shift my perspective often ( To much I might add).

I go through man thoughts about relationships.

“Its holding me back, why commit to one person, should this one be my last and always, is it worth it, will I be better off, or stronger, as a single person?” Etc etc.

And then here I am,single,and that’s not a sob story it just places me in a different perspective.

When all is said and done, when the Facebook rants are done,when the negative justifications fade away, I am here with how I feel deeply,and truly,without the mask.

I’m not a partier, I do not want to live a polyamorous lifestyle, contrary to my sexual posts,I don’t sleep around, and honestly, I don’t want to.

So I keep coming back…

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