You feel like you lost yourself?
Seems you may grow out of it. These things seem to happen more when we are young and hang around in not so appealing crowds that we get caught in and feel like we cannot escape from. We do shit THEY do, we sacrifice our morals and integrity to be seen as a certain person in the eyes of our “friends”. Those of us who are lucky enough to shed the skin of our past, can see how chained we became by following crowds and shit.
When our mind becomes our own, we become free. Does not matter your job,your girlfriend, your love,your religion or your morals, if you can look and act upon things with your own heart,mind and actions, you have become free. You have officially unplugged from the matrix.