First off, I learned that love can come and go in many shapes and forms.
I learned that though you may love someone, there are times when it makes sense to let them go. I learned that it is ok to love and let go, if only for a moment it was felt. And also, I learned that sometimes, love comes at a moment when the two are not ready to embrace it. Not meaning that the two will necessarily have the chance to try again, but that perhaps the feeling was meant to be felt and not held on to. To me, love is love whether you experience it in a flash of someones eyes in a grocery store or whether you have been married for 20 years. It is the feeling of “YOU, you do something to me” and no matter how it comes and goes, its great.
Also, I learned that the word ” Love” means a million different things to a million different people. I learned that love to some people does not always incorporate kindness. I learned that love in someone else’s eyes does not always mean they will not leave you homeless on the streets. I learned that people can use the word in one moment and then literally try to tear your whole life apart in the next. And what this taught me is not to run from the word, not to hate the word love, but to keep a watchful eye and follow…. Trev follow your fucking gut instincts for now on man!
I also learned that love has no time, no plan, no schedule on when it will come and when it will go, we cannot force it to be there, we cannot force it to go away, it does what it wants. You could meet a person and, in the next day, or three or four (lol), love them. This does not mean it is not love worth looking into, this does not mean it is not as strong as love that took some time, this just means it’s love lol. It taught me that there is no reason to try and force life, like life, love will do what it wants and it is beautiful that way, it is stronger than us. I have learned that if love chooses someone for me, I will gladly accept the gift. And love can show us the demon in some, and the angel in others. I guess in whole I see now that love is the revealer of all things.
I learned that I am Very resourceful. I learned that no matter what happens we can and will find a way to rebuild and push on. I learned that everything can be taken from us but no one can ever take our souls. This is an over used statement but it really hits home for me now. No matter what happens, we have an infinite amount of strength within us to start anew 🙂 In whole, I learned to really trust myself with my life, and I learned I can always come out on top if I allow it.
Lastly, I learned that the search for enlightenment, the search for God, the search for some higher power ( In my opinion) is a waste of time. I learned that if there is a God, no one on this earth has any idea what it would be. I learned that anything that we can create out of our human minds will have human traits, that is only natural, therefore, anything that is not human, like God, will not be anything anyone can ever imagine, fathom or understand. I learned that searching for this being actually took me away from the moment I was in, had me think I had to be something more than I was. I learned that there are only questions and the only constant in this “life” is change.
I learned to embrace the change, or am learning, starting to learn, to just let life and love guide me.
I am just here for the ride 🙂