During the day I went out for a smoke out on the front patio. As I walked out I saw something alive laying next to the step. As I approached more I noticed it was a bird laying on his back dying. I wanted to pick him up with my hands but was a little fearful so I found a stick and rolled him over on his tummy. I used the stick as a brush, I lifted his wings, brushed his feathers back and lifted his chin to see what the problem with him could be.
Strangely he, or she, had not one problem. I then assumed it was either flying and smashed into the house or that he was bit and poisoned or ate something that poisoned him. He was dying 😦 I had never really witnessed any living thing dying as I sat next to it.
Since he was still breathing I wanted to see if I could help, I thought, if he was shaken up from a crash perhaps I could shake him out of it. I tried to get him to walk, he was very nice to me, did not jump at me or try to peck at me, cute little mother fucker too.. But he just kept wanting to close his eyes and let go, he was ok with that. I put some water in a top trying to get him to drink, nope. I dripped a little on his head hoping it would jolt him back, did not do much except get him to walk, which was good, but once out of the water, he went back to closing his eyes ready for his sleep.
I knew he was not going to be ok,so I set him away from the porch under a tree. I told my mother the story about how he looked so comfy wanting to close his eyes. She said “You think they know something we do not?”.
The answer I think is yes, he did not want to fight to be alive, he was ok with going to sleep. He really seemed at peace. I later went to check on him and he had “went home”. At least while I was with him we shared some type of moment.
But us, we fight everything, people, opinions, family, friends, life, and then when death comes we fight that too, never accepting of what the divines plan is for us. The Dalai Lama once said something like ” If you want to know how to live just look at nature”. And I also believe that when asked about dying Albert Einstein said something about not pumping him full of pills and meds, that when his time came, to just let him go naturally as time planned.
I am not saying don’t use the doctor or anything that was just a lead in to end this little piece here. I guess if I was asked what I learned from this creature today, I would say be ok with life, be ok and just go with it.
You know, for some time I fell into the whole “new age” idea that we are Gods, each of us. As I sat and really looked, I realized we are not stronger than what ever is beyond us, whether it be a “God” or nature, or some higher form of us that created this simulation we call reality, IT is in control. You can act and think you create this whole thing, totally fine with me, and I understand, as I thought that for awhile, it sounds nice. But when something very bad or sad happens, I guarantee you will reevaluate the strength you have in the grand scheme of things.
Ok, I got off topic there a little, in a way life is happening to us, as if the play has already been written but we can change the words here and there. My friend the birdie, never questioned what he had done in his life, that I know of. He never thought about loose ends to tie up. He did not worry about how many sexual partners he had or whether he would go to hell or heaven, or whether there even was a God. He was ok, ok with how it worked out, even if what happened seemed to be perceived as “bad”.
I really think that is key. When it is time to laugh, laugh until you cry. When it is time to cry, let the water works begin, and do not feel weak for it. When it is time to love someone, love them with all you have. When it is time to let love go, allow yourself to humbly move forward. When it is time to sleep, rest, get comfy, allow yourself the needed time to renew your body. And when the reaper comes knocking, let that mother in and offer him some tea. I know it is easier said than done, but the idea is there.
” I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go” – Pi Patel from Life of Pi