You know something strange happened at a young age in my life that made me grow and become closer to myself. I have been looking for help in my work since I knew I had a higher purpose. Never finding people to really help. Learned how to produce myself. Learned how to poetically express myself. Learned how to treat people myself. Learned what love was myself. I saw everyone around me clicked up, “friends” everywhere riding around like a mob. I always wondered, “hmm, I don’t lie, I don’t steal, I’m damn funny, where is everyone at?” I can build websites but only with what I’ve learned, so I only know free websites like WordPress. I have a few books but don’t have editors or anything so I give them away for free. I don’t go out at all anymore so I try to learn more and more everyday about myself and my skills. I am who I am because I had a lot of time to go within myself and really reflect on my life. This is not to suggest that I have not met amazing people or go out on occasion. This just means that I am a solo soldier, A person of their own mind who knows most of what he knows because he learned it himself. That is why I don’t chase people, cash or companies. If you want to be my friend, you ARE my friend, if you want me to chase you, you’ll get tired from running.
So I’m sorry I can not offer pro editing or pro website building, or the next best way to get you rich. But I can help you to see who you are. I can tell you that you have probably been chasing people around your whole life. I can tell you that religion ruined God, Banks ruined money, and hospitals ruined health. I can tell you that people are beautiful, no matter what they have done. We are confused animals with a little more knowledge then a house dog. We try so hard to scurry to and fro to reach the next climax. We don’t know where we are going but we pray for an outcome. This was never a pity party, just a view into my life, I have not been treated bad, nor has my life been shitty, on the contrary Ive been blessed and things have always seemed to work out for me. People and relations are just strange to me. A lot of people Are out to love you and help you. On the flip side some family and “friends” or lovers are out to mold you to fit their will, just like corporations and religion. We do live in a world that is pushing you to be everything but yourself, when the best thing you can do is BE YOURSELF.
Ive seen people die knowing nothing of who they are. I see people selling their souls for a job that does nothing for them AT ALL, but let them buy things they don’t use because they are at work. Yet I see people with a purpose. I see the narrow path followers that are in search of people like me, and I AIM TO FIND YOU AND BE WITH YOU. I just think sometimes its easier to see all the bullshit because it is thick. People with thought tend to stay quiet and most of us are kind of recluse and introverted.
Never knew love too much because I never saw what it was. The love we all want Ive only seen in movies. I myself grew up cheating on the women I told I loved, until I learned that was stupid and changed my life. Never had much family or much family love. Had a recent ex take everything from me, after she gave me the whole “You’re the one” speech. People that say they love each other hooking each other on deadly drugs. Dads who say they love their kids beating them until they shriek. I see a person talk of love and then go kill families over seas. And, sometimes I feel like I am the only one who sees the ill mind of the human.
So what am I doing now? I write books, poetry blogs. I make videos and I do life coaching. Why? because I needed help and somehow found it. I want others to know that through this darkness there are people like me that can help you know that not everyone is out to fuck your eye ball. I will die before I give up on my cause really. Nothing is more important to me. Not family, not a girlfriend, not money, not sex, not weed, not some LSD, not death. Why? because helping people, expressing ones heart, this is all I see important in my life. I have felt the pain people can spew, and have done my own negative things here and there. That is not the person I am anymore or the type of people I will allow into my life. I have opened my heart to the world to embrace the peace I sometimes think can never be found.